Sunday, October 15, 2017

The science of the soulmate

Have you ever come across a person in your life who just instantly got you? Someone who you have that instant click with, don't have to hide anything from and who you can be instantly yourself with? 
Another soul who understands what you feel and think without you having to explain it, who seems to read your mind. Finishes your sentences, always seems to be on the same page. It's like you have a connection with them that goes far beyond any regular relationship. As if your souls are so in tune, you are one the same wavelength. 

Your soulmate. 

I'm lucky enough to have found someone who fits this exact description. My BFF, the ultimate best friend. The one I know will always be there, no matter what. No matter how far away from each other we might live (8780.87 km/5456.18 miles to be exact) or whatever petty disagreements we may have from time to time. Because let's face it, we're all still human. The one who I can always count on to be there for me. Unconditionally. 

My soulmate.

My soulmate is my best friend Laura. We've known each other since the first year of college. There is no need to app up the numbers and specify exactly how many years we go back, you'll just have to trust me on the fact that it's been a while. 
We started out working together on many many group projects but kept our contact mainly school related. I did always consider her somewhat of a kindred spirit. Like me she was detail oriented, a perfectionist, personable and a stabilizing social factor in many group altercations. We had similar character traits and interests and even found ourselves in similar situations in life, both in long term relationship at the time and mainly focused on family life. However, because of these factors we were often busy and never truly hit it off outside of school. 

It wasn't until the year I graduated that our friendship really blossomed. The year before her relationship ended and more recently mine as well. It was at that moment that I realized I stood at a turning point in my life. Freshly graduated, full time salary, single and free as a bird, the world lay at my feet. I realized that I had spent the last three and a half years focused on someone else, his needs, wants, family and friends. I came to the conclusion that other than the diploma in my hand, I hardly had anything to show for my last four years in college. 

It was right then and there that I knew it was time for me to change that. On impulse, at work, I messaged Laura to see what she was doing that night. She responded that it was Thursday and that on Thursday's she always went salsa dancing at a bar in our college town. She asked me what I was wearing and if I had heels with me. I told her I only had Chuck Taylor's on and nothing else with me but that it didn't matter because I didn't know how to dance salsa anyway. She basically challenged me to come out anyway and that if I did, she'd show me. Which is exactly what I did. Basically from that moment on, we became inseparable. 

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In this warm, loving and wonderful young woman I found a kindred spirit, a like minded soul, a best friend and a soulmate. She became the peanut butter to my jelly, the Bert to my Ernie, the salsa to my bachata. Her family became my family and eventually mine became hers. She and I, we found our soulmates in each other. We became soul sisters. 

Throughout the years we've only grown closer and closer as we grew individually and together. We joke about the fact that no men could ever replace or compete with the role we play in each tigers lives. That we're so much more than just friends. More than BFFs even. We're each others soulmates. We finish each others thoughts and sentences, we know in a heartbeat and without ever having to explain or say a word what the other thinks, means or needs. Sometimes even before we realize what we actually need ourselves. It is the deepest type of friendship connection I can imagine. So a while ago Laura sent me an article on soulmates. 

This article proposes that in our lifetime, we are presented with opportunities to link up with several different kinds of soulmates. The author has identified four different types of soulmates. Let's take a look at them. 
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1. Healing soulmates
These are people who enter your life with the intention or purpose of helping us move past life issues from our past. They help us move forward by mirroring us and showing us what we need to learn most at that time in our life.

2. Past-Life soulmates
The relationship or friendship with people like this is easy, effortless. There is an instant connection. Without being able to understand how or why, it feels like we've known them our entire life and will be friends forever. This kind of connections is so powerful it can change and shape us. The level of comfort, care, support and trust is so strong you can grow together. They help us grow into the person we were meant to be by supporting us, believing in us and accepting us for who we are. We can be truly ourselves with them.

3. Karmic soulmates
This connection has to do with energy and intense emotions. The relationship depends on what kind of energy we put into it, because whatever we give gets reflected back. This connection can be so strong that while we're learning to overcome hardship and struggle with our ego, we can feel their pain. And vice versa.

4. Twin flames
Image result for soulmateTalking for hours on end, never running out of things to discuss with them. Twin flames are such close souls they can overcome emotional and spiritual challenges together. They finish each others sentences, see each others thought processes as clearly as their own, work together and make us feel whole. Often you can communicate with them without needing words. Twin flames aren't individuals ruled by their egos, they're a unit that can overcome anything.

Four types of soulmates, four types of connections. These can describe friendships or relationships. Do you recognize yourself or your friend/partner in one of these? If so, I'm curious to find out which one. As I was reading through these types of soulmates I realized how lucky and how rich of a person I actually am. Because in Laura, I have every single one of these. Someone who knows what I think and feel without having to say so. Someone who accepts me for the salsa loving weirdo I am. Someone who shares my world view, my passion for working with and for people. Someone I can laugh and cry with.
Someone of with whom it doesn't matter that she lives 5456.18 miles away from me on the other side of the world. Because our hearts and souls are so deeply connected she's with me no matter where I go.

I'm sharing this today, because I feel that there is no more valuable gift in life than to be surrounded with those who support us and love us for the way we are. I believe we owe it to them and to ourselves to thank our lucky stars we have people like them in our lives.

Laura, I'm incredibly grateful to have a soulmate like you.

Thank you for being who you are.






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